Life is miserable - despicable. It has been for a while. Truthfully, I cannot deduce the cause of such misery, as the chaos swells when least expected.

I've never been excited to adopt a potentially uneven tan without the lure of fieldwork - it is the backbone of knowledge acquisition, as this industry knows it. 2.5 weeks in, I commenced a new week feeling extremely haggard, yet more confident in my abilities to handle on-site situations.

This newly acquired sense of accomplishment sharply plummeted after being scolded for "inappropriate" behaviour, which as simple as attempting to multi-task due to a last-minute assignment (never mentioned on Day 1 and only inadvertently learned late the previous week). It came as a shock to me, for not one member of intermediate hierarchy staff had pointed out this area for misconception personally, and instead relayed it directly to the next order of command.

Would my position be in jeopardy? Would I only acquire 13 days of experience in spite of the treacherous commuting conditions?

​For the first time since commencing the project, I wanted to forfeit, to be relieved of my misery just as the former inspector had. My personal best was simply insufficient. In conjunction with unclear objectives, unclear expectations, and a plethora of missing information, this was a game in which a perfect score would never be attained.

I felt defeated, needless to say, for the various sources of incoming information were inconsistent. Yet, the one breaking their back to make it work was me.

I despise playing the victim, for I strongly believe that the world holds as many alternate solutions as the population that inhabit it. But my due diligence had been completed; one cannot ponder answers to issues in an absence of information.

Similar stressful situations have arisen in the past, primarily from those that lack foresight, those incapable of managing multiple tasks simultaneously, those failing to comprehend the scale of individual project tasks, or, the worst of them all, those that fall within all the above.

​Many tears were shed, frustrations voiced repeatedly, and deep contemplation undertaken. It pains me to declare that my deductions were inconclusive.

Appending to these woes was the revolting weather forecast (no rain and constant humidity!!) and daily collisions on the QEW or Burlington Skyway, resulting in delays up to and exceeding 90 minutes. The worst part of all: I'd be redoing it all over the following day without fail.

​On the first day back, I fought fatigue with music and the promise of a Real Fruit Peach Slush from CoCo. The Fruit Aliens line had just been launched, and the sleepy polar bear was willing to emerge on my doorstep with one of four specialty beverages in an attempt to appease the situation.
It worked, but its impacts were short-lived.

​Alas, in my haste, I would forget all the spices until both loaves were portioned and swirled into their respective pans. The number of times I have constructed this recipe is impressive, yet even more impressive is the potential of error-making in spite of these innumerable iterations.

​Nonetheless delicious with their signature crunchy exterior, I shall admit to disappointment resulting from a lack of depth. Cinnamon, pumpkin spice mix, and a sprinkle of nutmeg were truly pivotal components of the batter. It was unthinkable that I had omitted them in the process.

​For those less keen on traditional takes for banana bread (ahem, a certain sleepy polar bear), these slices would likely earn greater praise. One redeeming aspect was the emphasis on the chocolatey flavours of the loaf: they were offered the spotlight in the absence of spices.

I proceeded to munch on these for the rest of the four-day work week, skipping the frequent sustenance purchases I had committed in first three days on site.

Stoney Creek has been proving itself a fairly calm district populated by either elderly or young families. "Calm" in indicative of the pace at which the residents seem to operate: unhurried, curious, and with more time on their hands than one (I) could ever imagine. The number of resident interactions, in which the resident is the instigator, has far exceeded any Public Information Centre in Toronto I've had the opportunity to participate in.
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At any given point in time, residents can be spotted relaxing on their front porch, observing the happenings of the construction before them, and calling out with questions without any hesitation whatsoever. Their attitude, and oddly unwavering presence often leads me to ponder: "Do these people not have jobs? Do they not have things to do with their lives?"

It was atypical behaviour for more densely-populated suburban and urban districts in the GTA.

​​Lawns are maintained regularly, with various forms of flora and décor arranged out front. From wind chimes to colour lawn gnomes to "No Poop Zone" standees, the furnishings lent each house a sense of individuality.

​The area is one with recent investment in infrastructure, recreational facilities, and retail. My arrival is often met with a stopover at McDonald's, for the franchise operates on a 24-hour basis.

​Life is a whirlwind and each person is only bestowed a fixed quantity of anchors to keep things from going haywire.

Between a ridiculously rapid transition from in-office and screen-bound to on-site and ultraviolet radiation-prone, I had little time to complete the remaining task at hand, and even less opportunity to process the happenings to come.

My new fieldwork assignment would commence on Wednesday, leaving just two days to secure the loose ends on CAD and prepare for sweltering, sunny days ahead.​

​Daily habits weren't amended, for I could construct whatever my heart desired, whenever my heart desired. Orange juice, Perrier, and strawberry lychee jam was an interesting combination, as was M Cha's Peach Oolong Milk Tea turned milk tea granita.

​Rushed mornings were anticipated. Thus, Marbled Banana Bread was assembled in advance.

Without cocoa powder readily available, I undertook a similar substitution as my marbled loaf in Vancouver (link later): Tim Horton's Hot Chocolate Mix. A small amount of black cocoa was added as well.

Errors resulting from barely reading the recipe - which one ought to have memorized by now - resulted in a last-minute addition of half & half cream to prevent the chocolate batter from becoming too dry. The result was a damp loaf - still chocolatey, but nowhere near as decadent and crunchy as regular iterations.

The drive to Stoney Creek at 7 AM approximated forty minutes. The skies were azure with feather patches of clouds. Across from the Public Works department was a splendid view of the mountains, a road trip-like sight.

Following a brief set of instructions and, weaving uphill over railways and about roads I never knew could appear in the GTHA. I navigated about the Devil's Punchbowl site, further and further away from the civilization at the foot of the "Mountain".

​Next would come an introduction to construction inspection: It was a small-scale task with few contract items, but with countless provincial specifications and municipal specifications/guidelines for reference. My disembark on site grounds would also mark the start of no immediate access to indoor plumbing - a nightmare to say in the least.

​Throughout the first few days, I would make frequent visits to Tim Hortons and McDonald's. These trips would often entail a purchase of some sort: a Peach Real Fruit Quencher and Chocolate Chip Muffin from Timmies, and a less-than-stellar Peach Passionfruit Smoothie from McD's.

For the past few weeks, I've finally secured a position in technical duties. I declare this proudly, yet not without an edge in my tone. It had been a grueling, ongoing challenge to even escape the political claws of pretend project management, and I had been pushed to my wit's end before any transitions could be made.

​Various feelings ensued as a result of this assignment:
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1) Inadequacy
Being a short-term assignment spanning no more than several weeks, the tasks assigned were relatively small in scale. There was more flexibility in terms of its delivery time, for the allocated working period also encompassed the beginner's learning curve. Truthfully, it was more of a blessing than a curse, for I was provided more guidance and mentorship than ever in my past 1.5 years of requesting the change in work content. However, this did not feelings of inadequacy, for there was likely a quicker way of completing the tasks, but I simply hadn't acquired the necessary skills to be useful to the project (or as effective as I wanted to be, anyway).

2) Impatience
Closely related to the first response - and likely its cause - was impatience. It stems from an urge to build upon one's skills in short period of time. Once again, the end goal was to be useful, and consequently productive.

3) Regret
The mentor that had graciously taken upon the process of teaching and providing tips was being transitioned off the project within a few weeks' time. It was a shame to have such a patient member of the team not only departing the project, but also the Great White North as a whole. Consistently open to discussions and help sessions, it would be a loss to my CAD development for him to be absent following my return from fieldwork.

At home, I continued munching on my freezer stash of baked goods and remnants of the weekend past.

Few flowers fill my soul with joy. Their fragility and constant need for care does not align with my lifestyle needs. And while one can argue that flowers are the fruition of labour and dedication, they ultimately hold no purpose, as opposed to continuous efforts in fostering a skill or constructing a tangible product.

But lavender ticks off all the boxes for gratification:

• They are fragrant - subtle yet pronounced in presence.
• They require minimal care, and are just as stunning fresh as they are dried.
• Most importantly, they are purple.

Visiting a lavender field has been on the bucket list for a few years now. Perhaps it started when excursions to floral destinations was popularized over social media, when hiking trips were too great of an investment for the like seekers. Sunflowers, being grand and exuberant, were immensely popular for their visual impact. Lavender, on the other hand, boasted a delicate appearance embodying serenity: an allure known only ​to those patient enough to embrace - and appreciate - them.

When tickets had sold out due to capacity limits last year, I postponed the bucket item list for fulfillment the following year, as the harvest of the purple plant was limited to the month of July.

​We departed roughly forty minutes later than planned, with the fault being mine and mine only. The original anticipated travel period was 60 to 90 minutes, yet the estimated arrival time was progressively delayed as we headed westward. One hour became an hour and a half, and an hour and a half became two hours. Congestion was inevitable along the entire stretch; in conjunction with Oomomo lashes rejecting the donning of sunglasses, it made for the most grueling of long-distance trips.

View the full album HERE !

It hadn't occurred to me that, after my last-minute, 1 AM packing, I would leave my work phone in the adjacent room, then promptly neglect my alarm and continue dozing until the 10 AM mark. Plans with the sleepy polar bear were to commence at 11:30 AM. Snapping out of my daze quickly, I began to rush my morning routine.

It also hadn't occurred to me that it was possible to have a nation-wide service outage, with all communications (texts, calls, data, and Wi-Fi) provided by Rogers coming to a halt. Those that were impacted were not made aware of such circumstances until opening their eyes the next morning.
Thankfully, I had been minimally affected the disruption, given my loss of cell signal but retention of Wi-Fi. The sleepy polar bear, on the other hand, was less fortunate, and resolved to an early arrival to prevent uncertainties in our plan.

Preparing my ensemble - somewhat sluggishly, if I may add - we eventually succeeded in departing around 12:15 PM, roughly forty-five minutes tardier than anticipated (oops). Offline maps proved extremely useful: despite lack of awareness surrounding traffic conditions, the route was clear (and surprisingly not as congested as I would have imagined). I peered warily at the Android Auto screen, pondering the whereabouts of this surprise excursion.

At about quarter past 1, we pulled into First Markham Place. "Really?" I thought aloud, "I took a day off to come to Markham?! To come to FMP??!"
I must have sounded shocked and dismayed, for worry passed over the sleepy polar bear. "You don't like here?"

My gaze was directed towards Brown Donkatsu, yet the suggestion was ill-received. My throat was still hoarse from the previous day's banh mi blaze; furthermore, I wasn't keen on absorbing the greasy fumes of Sonoya's successor. Neither of my past visits had been particularly memorable, after all.

I proposed taking a gander in the food court instead, given that my lateness was endangering our scheduled appointment anyway. As we neared the area, my eyes met those of a familiar face - it was ochungg! Long had been our last in-person meeting, and both of us were equally astounded by the fated encounter.

Parting ways, I noted nothing of interest within the plaza and suggested Bingz instead.

We agreed on The Signature Beef, along with my suggestion of a Plum Cold Brew. The deviation from a 2L bottle of hotpot-ready 酸梅湯 wasn't vast: beyond a more filtered appearance, greater dose of sweetness, and thinner consistency, the sweet-tanginess paired just as splendidly with tender chunks of beef as it did with soy sauce-dipped shabu shabu strips.

​The Crispy Burger was an item of instant affection for the sleepy polar bear. From the flaky, crunchy exterior to the "brisket-like" stands of marinated meat, I saw no hesitation whatsoever in swiftly obtaining a second piece for sheer satisfaction.

My two-month on-site project has been suffering continuous delays: from locate issues to a supposedly industry-wide cement powder shortage, I've been waiting anxiously for the commencement of a potentially calescent challenge. I had shifted some appointments to prepare for this assignment, only to heave a sigh of relief as my on-site presence got delayed. Albeit exciting, the very act of being away from home is restricting in its ability to maximize and re-purpose time accordingly, whether it be completing chores, running errands, or taking calls. Without access to a computer, controlled setting, or A/C, the flexibility of my working environment diminishes drastically.

Another aspect I've yet to re-adjust towards would be the need for packed lunches. Soupy, boney components are difficult to compress into a thermo, and even more difficult to consume while on the go. It is unlikely that frozen kale (and ready-to-toast snacks) would be as accessible as they are currently in my work-from-home state.
This is not to say that I don't have days of low sustenance. However, such situations can easily mitigated by the retrieval of a Cape Seed slice and mozzarella chunks, both preserved in the freezer for days demanding instant solutions.

I'm learning that purple strands are not so easy to maintain, even with the assistance of pricey purple shampoo. Sectioning the hair is crucial, as is dampening prior to application. Gloves provide a more thorough application, for ungloved digits reveal signs of staining even after washing. As evident in recent outings, the original intensity is impossible to sustain; furthermore, tinting the hair evenly is tragic without third-party help.

​Rapidly disappearing leftovers had prompted another purchase from thairoomgrand. This time, a different struggle was encountered with the online ordering system. As I fell outside of the 5-kilometre delivery radius, there was no way to take advantage of the 18% off promo using the most convenient address.

A minimum of two in-office days has been mandated by corporate, much to my disgruntled distaste.

Monday was supposedly quieter than most days, thus anticipated to provide a peaceful working environment for my 8-hour-plus day. The setup procedure was tedious in itself: from locating one's assigned seating in the space, discovering variances from the online seating chart versus the in-office edition, and finding your deskmate already seated to relocating to a different numbered table and wiping away seemingly weeks of dust and tackiness, it all seemed utterly unnecessary for the commencement of work.
​Beyond an additional thirty to forty minutes of commute time, unassigned seating and workstation preparations accounted for nearly thirty minutes more in delays. Let's also not forego monitor troubleshooting periods, which constituted fifteen minutes of unassisted issue resolution.

​To say that I was displeased would be an understatement, for I saw absolutely no value in entering the premises when neither time nor productivity was gained. Moreover, I was haggard, restless from inadequate sleep the night before.

​I took to M Cha Bar's recently opened Mississauga outpost afterwards in an attempt to appease the soul. Having been shuttered for Taste of Asia, cravings had been suppressed since the Friday past. At long last, I would seek out the coveted Roasted Oolong Milk Tea with Coffee Jelly, but not without some difficulty.

The stall was located near the entrance of Ocean's, positioned within a section that housed other prepared foods. Operating as a standalone establishment, I was grateful to find their acceptance of credit card. I opted out of making purchases from the supermarket itself, in fear that I would be rejected without debit or cash on hand.

The Roasted Oolong Milk Tea with Coffee Jelly was as delectable as I recalled, on par with the Vaughan original and unlike the sickening creaminess of the Scarborough spot. A Mango Pomelo - taro balls removed - was requested for the sleepy polar bear. Even at 50% sugar, the beverage was underwhelming - bland, even. Strawberry chunks at the base of the cup was a welcome twist, though the distinct lack of mango depth was incredibly disappointing.

​​I Love Pho was secured for supper en route home.

​The spread consisted of:

• #201 I Love Pho Special (Medium)
• #215 Lightly Fat Well-Done Beef & Tendon Brisket Pho (Medium)
• #501 Grilled Pork Chop with Steamed Broken Rice
• #701 Banh Xeo | Vietnamese Pancake with Pork, Shrimp, and Bean Sprouts

Prices have surged since our last visit, escalating up to 20% markup in comparison to their online menu.

July 1st is our national holiday. It also signifies the midway mark of the year, very much in a "How did we get here?" sense.

​Hosting a barbecue is a tradition in many households, including my own. And even without coal stones, you can bet on a feast of some sort, along with playing of the national anthem and nonstop waving of our beloved red maple. (Did you know our flag was my favourite to draw in elementary geography? No other flag was nearly as simple, nor as memorable.)

While cleaning my desk, I discovered some ancient tattoo stickers fitting for the occasion, and flagged them (no pun intended) for later use. They turned out less tacky than desired, transferring from paper to skin with much difficulty then smearing and fading shortly afterwards.

​Our BBQ assortment comprised of a fresh romaine and spinach salad with tomatoes and cucumbers (and thousand island dressing from scratch!), spicy, cheese-filled sausages, and, of course, steak - in both slabs and bite-sized pieces.

As I begin to re-learn my "old" ways - ways temporarily forgotten with a sudden swap of surroundings and resources - I'm dismayed to discover new areas of weakness and lower levels of productivity.

Perhaps it is an obvious consequence of time being invested elsewhere, but I had optimistically hoped not for my endurance to wither within such a short period. Returning to regular pilates sessions was not particularly difficult, though chills were frequently felt, as were moments of abnormal warmth. The mind and body were drained despite little engagement with the outside world.

​Breakfasts consisted of: coffee, far more accessible than before with all equipment and roasts on hand, and items derived from a seemingly endless freezer stash. Buttermilk Eggos were a recent addition, unknown to me until my return; blue sky bran muffins and banana bread (marbled or unmarbled) welcomed me back in a toasty, cinnamon-laced embrace.

The first few meals back would comprise of congee (for detoxing), kale (for iron), and lean pork (for more iron). At times of weakness, Ensure was consumed for a boost of protein. However, nausea and a persistent headache refused to depart. An inability to obtain quality sleep was another telling exhibit of unwellness.

​After unpacking, I began to tackle the next order of business: my medical appointments.