Out & About #880 | Waterloo Taphouse, THEMUSEUM + Revisiting Smile Tiger

The trip to Waterloo had stemmed from a desire to go out, for, contrary to popular belief, I'll easily choose the hermit life when funds and energy levels are low. Following a month-long recharge period, it was time to experience the external world once more.

​While there had been initial contemplation about a trip eastward - either to North York or Markham to fulfill munching needs - there were, truthfully, very few geographical POIs beyond food. Waterloo served as a pleasant getaway from heavily hyped eateries and crowds, which, in turn, made for agreeable drives and parking situations.

​I had visited the Waterloo Brewing Beer Store previously, yet never set foot in their taphouse - or any taphouse, for that matter! This was about to change.

Traffic had been light heading into Waterloo, so, despite a slight setback due to shovelling, we arrived in under one hour. The taphouse was quieter than I expected, with an ample amount of tables and low noise levels overall. Had our visit been slated for a gastropub in downtown Toronto, the scene would have been utterly more chaotic - not to mention time-consuming.

We had the option of choosing our seats, naturally prompting me to graviate towards the table with the greatest natural illumination. A few crumbs resided on the tall stool, but the bartender was more than willing to assist in brushing them off. Given that the chairs had been tucked into the table legs, it was evident that we were its first users of the day.

Menus adopted the form of narrow wooden clipboards, with page breaks for cocktails, food, and featured items. As I flipped through the pages - barely reading, mind you - the sleepy polar bear pointed out the different Feature Menu selections tacked to our clipboards: Borscht and Pumpernickel Turkey Club on one, and Broccoli Cheddar Soup and Sourdough BLT on the other. While appealing in their descriptions, the soup and sandwich variations weren't conventional taphouse fare, and could likely be procured elsewhere.

I continued to scan for articles of interest. In the meantime, two IKEA drinking glasses and a chilled bottle of water were delivered to our table. Noteworthy was its presentation, for it utilized a tinted, airtight brewing bottle. At first glance, it would appear no different from a corked wine bottle, yet the cap was a screwtop inclusive of a rubber seal, similar to the amber bottle I had obtained for DIY vanilla extract. ​Though not immediately obvious, the water was deemed slightly alkaline (salty) after a few sips.

"What would you like?" asked the sleepy polar bear from across the table.
"Hmmmm I'm not sure." I mumbled without lifting my head. The statement could be interpreted as indecisiveness to an undiscerning eye, though it was, in fact, a careful calculation to maximize enjoyment through sustenance.
"Are you going to get beer?" came the follow-up inquiry, which was quickly interrupted by "Of course you are! Who am I kidding?"

As if on cue, our gaze fell upon the flights on nearby tables, inciting curiosity and uncertainty. Our server, a friendly, bearded man in a black Waterloo Brewing t-shirt, sauntered by at this very moment, and immediately appeased my burning inquiries with a gesture towards the list by the bar. While those named on the Cans and Bottles section could only be requested individually, any of the names on tap could be chosen to constitute a flight.

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​After some internal debate, I confirmed the following picks:

1) Waterloo Brewing Signature Series Apple Crumble Porter
5) A Good Time Saison
10) Enida Kellerbier
11) Landshark Island Style Lager

We also took to The Full Boar Sandwich, Fest Pretzel, and Brussel Sprout & Chorizo Salad for sharing.

​Waterloo Brewing Apple Crumble Porter
Being a dark beer, this one was unmistakably the sweetest of the pack, and further reinforced my reservations towards stouts and porters by bearing a cough syrup-like profile. The first whiff evoked a warm, vanilla-laced aromas, though neither apple-y nor caramel-y notes transcended into the drink itself.

A Good Time Saison
Unfiltered and fruity, I enjoyed this on its own as well as with my final bites of Brussel Sprout & Chorizo Salad. The contrast of refreshing and slightly zesty with creamy and savoury worked exceptionally well.

Enida Kellerbier
When I had asked whether the Kellerbier bore resemblance to a stout due to its proclaimed "malty sweetness", I received a hesitant response back, as the brew variety could only be placed in a category of its own. Only upon sampling did I learn the validity of this statement. Darker than a lager yet brighter than an amber ale, the Kellerbier paired splendidly with the Fest Pretzel and its indulgent Bacon Cheddar Dip. After all, sweet and savoury is rarely a combination that fails to deliver.

Landshark Island Style Lager
Within the first few bites of each dish, we turned towards the menu to identify its recommended beer pairing. Majority were suggested to pair with Lager, unsurprisingly given its relatively mild profile. The Island Style Lager was the lightest of the quad at 4.6% ABV, earning a nod of approval even from the ever-sober sleepy polar bear.

​The Full Boar Sandwich and Fest Pretzel arrived with impressive swiftness.

Stacked generously between fluffy slider buns was braised shortrib and plenty of arugula, dressed with just enough garlic aioli for cohesion. Pickled onions, fermented jalapeno slices (which were overwhelmingly mild and not spicy at all, even for me), and a single dill pickle contributed acidity throughout the dish, stimulating the appetite from the first bite and rounding it off with a faint kick. The Full Boar Sandwich was truly a wealth of complex flavours. Miss Vickies-style chips accompanied the sandwich. But, as our table's chip connoisseur noted, the wispy slices were smaller than Miss Vickies, despite being equally crispy and comprehensively seasoned (in other words, salty).

​Pretzels and beer go hand in hand, as evident in annual Oktoberfest celebrations. The Fest Pretzel was no exception to this traditional pairing. I hesitated not in shredding the Bavarian-style pretzel into small segments, then dunking the salted exteriors into the Bacon Cheddar Beer dip. Out emerged a spongy interior with specks of bacon. Its consistency was neither viscous nor runny: there were minimal cheese strings to be witnessed, though it succeeded in coating flat surfaces without causing a drippy mess.

​The Brussel Sprout & Chorizo Salad was the last item to be requested, triumphing over its competition of Beer & Beet Hummus. Seemingly more prominent on tapas menus are Brussel sprouts, and usually the charred/roasted kind, as evident from our Calgary adventures. Utilizing a base of Potato Whipped Mascarpone, the "salad" was not your typical blend in any sense. Disregarding the absence of fresh greens, the combination professed an effortless execution of textural variance. Pickled onions offered acidity, while Brussel sprouts a crunchy-chewy heartiness with faint bitter aftertastes. In stark contrast to the smooth, pliable mashed potatoes were sweet candied pecans. It is also worth mentioning that the Potato Whipped Mascarpone was sturdy enough to pick up by the forkful, and emitted no traces of sandiness whatsoever.

Our server approached us once more as we concluded the meal. My curiosity gave way to an interesting discussion about pairings, specifically how the beer pairings on the menu are decided. Matching flavours wasn't an uncommon process, for sticky desserts are often served with - or even infused with - dark beers and stouts to amplify the existing profile. An example was the Bacon Wrapped Dates, one of the few mains could be fitted with dark beer to yield a harmonious profile. I also came to learn about more innovative combinations: contrasting spicy/acidic with dark.
Lagers, as mentioned earlier, is versatile due to its mild nature, though not necessarily applicable to all scenarios especially where distinct, contrastng flavours are present. The Shaved Corned Beef Sandwich is recommended with wheat and IPA, both of which retain their own unique profile.

​Gathering our belongings, the sleepy polar bear cast a knowing glance in my direction. Naturally, we would be navigating over towards the Beer Store section of the establishment next.

​It was of no surprise that I had my eyes set on the Guava Lime Radler. The seasonal exclusive had yet to make its way to LCBO locations near me; the same would apply to the brewery's latest Signature Series release, which comprises of Grapefruit Hibiscus IPA, Saison, and Passionfruit Wheat in preparation of the upcoming spring season.

Several more cans were added to my 8-pack, including Laker Red, Laker Lager, Seagram White Peach Cider, and Waterloo's own Tangerine Peach Wheat and Juicy Haze IPA. Failing to resist the 16 oz. Beer Glass, the nine dollar drinkware also made it to the basket.
"You just spent more on beer than our entire meal." declared the undaunted observer.
"...You're right." I looked up from my retail expedition and nodded matter-of-factly.

​When we had departed thirty minutes later than planned, I began to worry about the order of events. Following our late lunch was a visit to THEMUSEUM in downtown Kitchener.

​Given the facility's 4 PM closing time and our eventual 2:30 PM arrival, the emphasis shifted from parking time restrictions to possible exploration pace. From prior research, street parking was free up to two hours. Nearby garages charged $3.30 for the first two hours, then $1.75 per hour for every additional hour. Our choice of the Duke/Ontario garage facilitated the trek to our second destination of the day.

​Admission to THEMUSEUM was complimentary on our date of visit, though reserving spots online was recommended as it generated a barcode for check-in. In my haste, I had booked two pairs of tickets - one for 1 PM and one for 3 PM. Thankfully, we were admitted into the space around 2:35 PM without issues.

​On the ground floor was a pop-up market featuring mom-owned small businesses in the Guelph-Kitchener region. The assortment didn't stray far from the standard offerings of handmade candles, skincare, jewellery, and knickknacks. We meandered through the aisles with as little interaction as possible, stopping only for the bathrooms by the elevator.

​THEMUSEUM housed a total of five floors, including a workshop at the basement level. On the ground floor was the check-in desk, gift shop, lockers, an unmonitored coat rack, and photo booth. Unlike the ROM or AGO, the building wasn't a standalone fixture. Despite boasting several floors of interactive exhibits, the square footage was quite limited, especially with some areas closed for renovations/updates.

Artwork was present throughout the museum, either lining the walls or earning a dedicated space on the second floor gallery. The pieces could be described as mixed media work, albeit with heavy physical accents. This was expected, as the facility was largely geared towards a younger demographic, toddlers and children who prefer to interact with physical elements rather than sit in static appreciation.

Maximizing the dim environment, the second floor housed game tables that encouraged shifting of blocks to illuminate houses on a grid. A two-level labyrinth emphasized the x and y planes, prompting the user to tilt either of the wooden trays to guide the marble to its destination.

At the south end was THELOUNGE, where visitors could enjoy baked goods and nourishment under flickering blue bulb lights.

A stage in the distance implied the potential of live performances on select evenings.

Impossible Geometries on the third floor was undoubtedly my favourite exhibit, for it combined colourful visual projections (à la Van Gogh Exhibit) in a compact space with touch-enabled tiles.

​More exciting and immersive than Van Gogh ever proved to be, the auditory-visual exhibit unleased the inner child in all of us. Running about the space would not only invite patterns to follow one's footsteps, but also serve to stop "lava" from taking over the land. 

Residing in the corridor was an extensive collection of vibrant art pieces, a device capable of preserving one's shadow on a screen with the touch of a button, and LED backlit tables to showcase x-ray images of various animals.

​Hosted on the top floor was a rotating selection of exhibits. Extreme Sports was the THEMUSUEM's newest addition and informed on topics such as risk, safety, and movement in addition to displaying various sports in action.

​In order to enter the exhibit, one could traverse along a soft rubber log, faux boardwalk, or tightrope path. Both the log and kid-friendly soft surface boardwalk were easy to navigate, but the tightrope section was more challenging than it appeared. Raised no more than one foot off the ground, the tightrope was constructed of a thick cloth band and bound to wooden fixtures with tremendous tension. The band was reminiscent of a seat belt, approximately the same width but reinforced tri- or quad-fold to ensure sufficient support.

​Upon crossing into the exhibit, there were several interactive stations to peruse. Operating in a similar fashion to a game show or Playdium attraction, buttons allowed participants to answer questions appearing on the screen. Some were questionnaires, aimed to determine one's willingness to undertake risk, while others were trivia-based. We skipped the latter and maneuvered over to the risk one, as it was unoccupied. Although many have described me as being "risk-averse", I still scored higher than the sleepy polar bear based on my preference for dynamic activities.

Inching further inwards, we spotted a station where participants could duel in a match of memory with sport flash cards on a touch screen. Timed games are often my forte, though short-term memory is meek.

​Scientific elements of extreme sports were also addressed: adrenaline vs. dopamine, movement of the body including reflexes, and safety precautions.

​The entirety of the exhibit comprised of interactive games or stations that prompted some form of action from the user. Whether it be rearranging magnetic tiles, selecting the correct helmet for a given sport, rock climbing, lying down to view parachuting GoPro footage, tapping buttons, or adjusting slope gradients to ensure gradual descent, all the attractions were dynamic and engaging. By maintaining newness with each turn, the experience was inviting yet also educational. A younger version of myself would have appreciated the exhibit just as intensely as the present day adult.

​There was never a dull moment to be had, for there were even items of interest on the ceiling and along the stairwell.

​Washrooms were located on every floor, with the stalls on the fourth floor being notably cleaner than at ground level.

​On the basement level was The Underground Studio MakerSpace. It housed a workshop space with a 3D printer and large machinery nearby. As expected, these events were led by a staff member at dedicated periods.

Outside the workshop was a shallow, rectangular tub filled with water. One could liken it to the rubber ducky races at the CNE, though it was more scientific than that. Angling plastic boards with the channel could alter the direction and speed of water flow, thus assisting or hindering the plastic boats bobbing within it.

Beside the stairwell was a dimmed play area named THEMUSEUM totspot, essentially a toddler space with glowing lava lamps, soft cushions, and cubbies for storing shoes. The installation was amusing to me, and presumably useful for parents with children of varying ages. It sufficed to say that THEMUSEUM succeeded in offering an attraction for every member of the family.

​We strode through the gift shop briefly, but did not find anything of particular interest. The souvenirs appeared unrelated to THEMUSEUM itself, for they spanned Star Wars merchandise, wine-themed dish towels, and dinosaur plushies for the Dinosaur Walk Thru taking place beyond the museum grounds.

​The photobooth was a lovely addition to the space. Though admittedly finnicky at first, three dollars would yield filmstrips documenting the visit with a date and location stamp.

After retrieving my jacket from the coat rack, we headed back onto the concrete walkway of King Street.

​Downtown Kitchener has transformed drastically since my last visit. The neighbourhood still sports the same colourful crosswalks, spacious sidewalks, and streetscaping elements, yet the closed storefronts and desolate environment indicate a lack of foot traffic to support it.

​Questionably loud passerbys later reveal themselves as displaced (or mentally deranged). For our safety, we crossed over the mountable curbs to Rainbow, where I had experienced not only my first oxtail dish but a spready of truly exemplary Caribbean cuisine. The windows had been covered with brown paper, seemingly referencing a pending liquour license.

​The sleepy polar bear expressed an urgency to evacuate the area, thus we headed westward instead. Along the way, we were stopped by two men in hoodless jackets, slicked back blond hair, and name tags.
"Hey guys! Can we ask you a question?" One of them piped up without warning. "What is your greatest joy in life?" 
I looked over at him, annoyed, perplexed and eager to walk away. "Joy?"
"Yes, joy!"
Thinking quickly, I blurted the response least likely to be relatable or prompt further conversation: "Getting things done."
"Getting things done." One of them repeated, seemingly looking for a way to intervene with the idea.
Before he could spout more nonsense, I hurriedly altered the flow of the conversation. "Yes, having a to-do list and doing stuff. We actually have stuff to do and gotta go!"
​
Dragging the sleepy polar bear away, I zoomed down the street, shaking my head in disbelief at how we were stopped for no valid reason while together - and not once, but twice!

​We continued on the south side of the street, passing by Kitchener City Hall and an atrocious number of vehicles parked on the mountable curbs and interlock. Implementing mountable curbs was a poor idea to begin with, but allowing static weight on interlock is a steep price to pay for maintenance.

​Coming face to face with a supposedly new Starbucks, I opted to try the Iced Strawberry Oat Milk Matcha Latte.

​I had prepared for the worst, but received more than asked for. The drink was repulsive: grassy and dirt-like from the oat milk, astringent overall, and topped with flavourless, frozen strawberries. With every sip came an icky aftertaste, a residual bitterness causing recoil of the tongue and soul.

​These findings were relayed to the cashier, but even after several exchanges, my drink was not offered to be remade.

​The sleepy polar bear grew exceedingly anxious to escape the district, thus we did. Off we sped to Smile Tiger for a proper later afternoon java fix.

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​I made a beeline for Thunder Peel, then hovered about the menu in review of the cafe's seasonal offerings.

​A London Fog and Honey Lavender Latte duo were requested to go. Sustenance was appended to the order after careful examination of the display case for rampant flies. A Banana Walnut Muffin, Hello Dolly Dessert Square, and Oatmeal Raisin Cookie set me back $3.44, $3.88, and $2.88 respectively. Of these three picks, I would highly discourage the latter two. Adhering to their muffin selection bestowed a sense of reliability. The Hello Dolly bar was unbearably sweet, combining commercial chocolate chips with shredded coconut and condensed milk in a diabetes-inducing slab. Meanwhile, the Oatmeal Raisin Cookie was decent, though in no ways memorable.

​As fatigue caught up with the sleepy polar bear, we commenced our eastbound trip home. A wrong lane switch led us into the Express and, before we knew it, we landed in congestion near the 427.

​Alas, returning to familiar territory had been the correct decision.

​After parting ways with the sleepy polar bear, I took dinner desires into my own hands.

Strolling into Toro Toro's soft opening day on a whim resulted in disappointment. The restaurant had "sold out" of food entirely, and was forced to turn away customers until the following day.

​It was with a sigh of relief that I retraced my steps back to the Celebration Square garage, where I had parked to avoid hourly metre rates. The absence of a private lot had involved a short walk from the Civic Centre, but as mercury levels plummeted into the evening, the journey back was rendered progressively less enjoyable.

​Bidding farewell to the Polar Bear Petting Zoo, I shrugged my way back to the car and began the trip to Golden Square. My backup dining partner had been advised to meet at Moteru Sushi, another recent restaurant addition to west GTA.

​Contrary to both of our expectations though, the spot was dreary, filthy, and cramped. With washroom access blocked off, it was clear that Moteru operated primarily as a takeout joint.

​Resting uncomfortably on the backless stools, we gazed at their LED menu in search of some form of solace. An Umme Don and K-Chicken Don set us back $9.99 before tax. With a cash discount of 5% and HST applied, the total came to $10.70 per bowl.

​Grudgingly digging through the bowl, we depleted roughly half of our containers before setting down our disposable chopsticks. In spite of the elaborately garnished appearance, the donburis were merely average. Affordable they may be, I vowed to never step foot in the establishment again.

Shorty after re-entering the frigid parking lot, I came to realize the fuminess of my mane. Cooking odours had seeped into my carefully styled strands, their volatility presenting themselves in every aspect of my being. With unstoppable fury, I charged into the shower - the smell could be withstood no more! My freshly tinted tresses were subject to washing once more.​