Out & About #464 | Breath of Barrie Day 3: Gravenhurst + Revisiting Chelsea Chocolates

6/23/2018

The weekend welcomed us with scattered showers and minimal sunshine. To combat the lack of summer-appropriate weather and inability to go for a second round of swimming, we dove into the car and drove (even further) up north.

Gravenhurst was about forty minutes away in the municipality of Muskoka. The trip was tedious, if anything, as landmarks of interest were scarce along the curves of Hwy 11. A curated playlist of upbeat tunes aided in relieving tension. I was nowhere thrilled to be potentially engaging in another meal at Dock of the Bay and thus was promised alternatives when we neared the port.

Passing through a sidewalk sale on the streets of Muskoka Road, it took a total of two U-turn before I found my way to the asphalt lot surrounded by tourist traps.

The skies were dreary, unlike our last visit. This didn't stop half of our party from parading the port with noise pollution, however. Rather, a lengthy period of snapping touristy photos ensued before we could gather the entirety of the group for lunch.

Adamant about not returning to Dock of the Bay and all of its unpleasantness, I suggested The Blue Willow. First and foremost, it was close in proximity and offered a decent view of the lake. Secondly, it offered a type of cuisine uncommon to the area: English-style afternoon tea.

As with many tea shops, The Blue Willow possesses its own selection of loose leaf teas, scones, and fruit preserves (ie. jam). Tables are few within the establishment, and all seating by the window had been reserved well in advance.

View the full album HERE !

Two servers bustled about the floor - one assuming the disposition of a bitter, overworked minimum wage worker, and the other trying his very best to maintain threshold levels of respect through soulless smiles.
We weren't exactly given an option for our table - the half apron-clad waitress/hostess had adopted a "take it or leave it" attitude, gesturing to the only arrangement she was willing to offer our party given the current volume of traffic. Though I understand that some tables cannot be merged to accommodate larger groups due to lack of space and fire hazards, it would have been customary to provide guests with the alternative of waiting for a better view.

The menu was rather typical given its price range. Unique to The Blue Willow many items were not. With the exception of the swanky decor (delicate teaware, a single blossoming stalk, Union Jack motifs, oriental-style salt and pepper shakers, eighteenth century map underlays, and more), there wasn't much that didn't disappoint.

< Pictured above and below: Soup of the Day, Grilled Salmon, Afternoon Cream Tea (Chicken Salad Sandwich with Bacon and Pai Mu Tan Tea), Afternoon Cream Tea (Chicken Salad Sandwich and Cranberry and Apple Tea) >

Food quality varied across the dishes. The Mushroom Soup was watery yet somehow chunky; boldly flavoured, it was not for the faint of heart for mushroom detest-ers (such as orangecane). A side of shredded mozzarella served to contribute depth in a straightforward manner.

Grilled Salmon was accompanied by either a bed of mixed greens or Caesar Salad. Not complimentary was the substitution of a two-dollar Seasonal Salad, whose ingredients were nowhere to be seen on the menu. Both salads were subpar at best; the roasted veggies, while satisfactory in terms of doneness, were much too greasy. The individual fillets themselves were, again, average; they were neither underseasoned nor undercooked, but suffered from stiffness and varying cross-sectional textures. For a whopping $16.75, one would think that the tea house would have been benevolent enough to spare their guests from frozen foodstuff

The Afternoon Cream Tea was a two-tier set with constituents of one sandwich, two mini scones with whipped cream and jam, a pot of one's preferred tea, and a "baker's choice of cake". Different varieties of sandwiches were marked at different price points; any substitutions or inclusions incurred additional fees of $1.00, $1.50, or $2.00.

The Chicken Salad Sandwiches were possibly the highlight of the entire dish - or should I say dishes. A mixture of chicken, mayonnaise, and celery was compressed within a multigrain loaf, then sliced at nonuniform diagonals for maximum inequality. One-dollar bacon strips were toasted to the point where brittleness prevailed, and one could savour nothing of its chewy, crisp personality. It was undeniably sustenance in its most basic form.

Two mini scones and a mini cupcake rested on the top tier. I could barely ingest my initial bite of the scone before gagging and furrowing my brows in sheer disgust. The supposed "scones" were dry, stale, and crumbly - precisely the characteristics observed in food left out on the table for too long. Whipped cream topped off the rock-in-disguise, but didn't aid in relieving the disappointment. The squirt of dairy wasn't airy in the slightest. It was quite the opposite, really: I wouldn't have been able to distinguish between the topping and day-old buttercream.
The worst of all was the teaspoon of strawberry jam. Shiny, synthetic, and sugary, I was appalled at the three-component manifestation.

Mini red velvet and vanilla bean cupcakes did not fair any better. I almost choked on the ridiculously thick layer of frosting, unsure if it was low-grade lard in actuality. The spongy cake portion was plain and boring. Solely deserving a hint of redemption was the mild essence of vanilla bean in the nauseating condiment.

Cranberry and Apple was your most common variation of herbal tea. Pai Mu Tan, on the other hand, was a swell choice on my behalf ("jammy" was not the right description); it was a refreshing white tea that promoted digestion.

The entire establishment housed one bathroom, which meant that lineups were inevitable during times of high traffic. Flushing capabilities were average, as was the level of cleanliness. At least there was soup near the sink.

Conclusively speaking, The Blue Willow is an establishment that is absolutely average in all aspects. Besides the somewhat distant view of the port and accessible entrance/bathroom, it quickly earned itself a spot on the Never To Return list.