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Out & About #336 | Yorkdale, Cafe de Paris + Croissants from Bake Code

5/5/2017

 
What good is a plan when the sequence is confirmed but efficiency is left disintegrated? Pretty dysfunctional, if you ask me.

Ranging from mildly to severely claustrophobic (concert pits are the only exception since idols trump everything, obviously.), I tend to steer clear of bustling shopping malls during peak hours. I either plan a trip for the first or last three hours of operation, simply too avoid crowds, nasty lineups, and incompetent customer service representatives.
Yet at Yorkdale, I had the joy of experiencing all three of the above tragic situations.

Mannerless tourists from Mainland? Check.
Exasperatingly slow service? Check.
Sales reps that not only talk down on their clientele but offer negative service? Check.
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Pressed to fulfill my duties with just under 60 minutes, I honestly could have done without the snarky attitude, counterproductive comments, and repulsive idiocy. (For those wondering: avoid the Zara customer degradation reps and moronic, brain cell-deprived "muses" at Kate Spade.)
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UNIQLO, thankfully, came through and restored basic levels of satisfaction in the dwindling retail industry. (And people wonder why I prefer conducting my purchases online...) Their recently launched Peanuts x KAWS collaboration not only features graphic tees for all ages but extra-comfy terry-lined room slippers adorning Snoopy and Woodstock themes.
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​I later ventured eastward to Yonge and Sheppard, partially for picking up the insanely popular molten croissants from Bake Code (and partially because I had already paid the standard transit fare).

Seeing as the next return bus was not due for at least fifty minutes, I headed over to Cafe de Paris to briefly check out their fruit cups. The Bon Bons had earned excessive hype several months prior, receiving numerous mixed reviews, specifically in regards to value.
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​Calmly strolling into the cafe, I took in my surroundings briefly before the girl behind the cashier cast wary glances in my direction. Perhaps she averted her eyes when I turned my back towards her, but I could clearly feel her piercing gaze with each click of the shutter.

The process lasted for a total of two minutes, and I strode up to order a Mini Mango Bon Bon after that. After punching the item into the machine, she ducked her head behind a navy curtain and relayed my order to the man behind it. While I had assumed that the curtain had been present to separate the kitchen area from the cashier, this was soon discovered to be false; the skeleton-like man emerged from the area and started mixing (something) at the outer edge of the cashier area at a level camouflaged from view.
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​I opted to visit the washroom at this point. As with most North York eateries, it was located on the basement floor, beneath a flight of steep wooden stairs.
Upon flinging open the door to the stairwell, a waft of sewage-like grease hit me. I made a 90-degree maouver and began to descend the stairs, only to witness the shocking sight of a building standard basement.

Indeed, not a single element beyond the ground floor had undergone interior decorating. The stairs were barren, the floor cold and chipped, and the walls naked and insulation exposed. Cardboard boxes had simply been tossed in a corner where it would be out of customers' direct line of sight. The only other component of the floor was a single stall bathroom, of which the light switch was still grimy with the smeared fingerprints of construction workers post-renovation.
Inside was the toilet, a water droplet-splashed mirror, dust-covered sink, dollar store soap (with its green-and-yellow Dollarama label intact), and a singlular roll of toilet paper. Some eccentric folks may deem this setup as minimal, but I'd just describe as the result of minimal effort.
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​My Mini Mango Bon Bon, which I had requested to-go, was placed in a narrow plastic bag with utensils and napkins. The top napkin was stained with mango syrup and the plastic cover did not even lock onto the base cup. Oddest of all was the choice of plastic utensils: a fork and straw - not a single spoon was found on the condiment bar.
Out of hunger, I began munching on the dessert before the bus was slated to arrive. Four substantial chunks of mango and an incredulous amount of whipped cream made up the topmost layer of the $5.64 dessert. Despite the richness of the cream, it was made bearable with the addition of mango. In reality, I could not decipher whether the fruit was ripe, or soaked in simple syrup to the point where all sourness disappeared. Either way, I was content to be munching on real fruit instead of synthetic sweetened puree.
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​Perhaps I had spoken too soon, as underneath the snowy mountain of whipped cream was the most ridiculous mess of sugar-laden slush I had forced into my body. The slushy monstrosity of mango concentrate was as gag-inducing as it was successful in presenting brainfreeze.

Majority of the time, I will continue to feed myself an item undeserving of my consumption for fear of wasteage and economic loss. However, this time around, I ultimately succumbed to nausea and consequentially disposed of the remaining half portion.
With that said, I would highly advise against visiting the establishment. (Take your funds to Presotea, if you must.)
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​My stomach was churning from the vile matter I had just ingested, making my purchase of a Mini Chocolatine absolutely necessary. It served to relieve my senses and somewhat aided in removing the disgusting aftertaste of sugary mango slush.
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​Cafe de Pain behind us, let us move onto the evaluation of Bake Code's Matcha Charcoal and Thai Milk Tea Custard Lava Croissant.
On a previous visit to the area, I had waltzed into the bakery just as the lady in front had scooped up the last two Thai Milk Tea croissants of the day. Precautionary measures led to safely securing my items of interest for pickup at a specified time. Both croissants were placed in unsealed plastic slips when I arrived; boxes were an additional twenty five cents (or free with a forty-dollar purchase, according to the girl behind the cashier).
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​The Thai Milk Tea Custard Croissant is a Halloween-toned bakery item that has piqued the curiosity of both orangecane and I, while Matcha Charcoal is intriguing simply in that it combines active charcoal with antioxidant-rich green tea.
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​My first impressions of the croissants were not at all favourable, to be honest. Bake Code had smothered on a sticky glaze on the surface, inadvertently causing the flaky bits of the pastry to become soggy, adhere to the inside of the plastic bags, and become almost impossible to slice.

The Thai Milk Tea variation was filled with a super sweet, but very flavourful oozing orange formula. Fragrant as it was, I couldn't quite stomach (ever so literally) the excessive sweetness of the overall combination. The piping of custard on top was a cute touch, but evidently thickened by starch instead of egg yolks. Despite offering a strong visual representation of texture and colour, the result was a disappointing case of syrup-sodden dough. A more viscous filling would have also been preferred.
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( Bonus: My Caturday latte )
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Matcha Charcoal was a slight upgrade from the former creation, as its shell was a smidgen less soggy and custard a bit more concrete. The tacky glaze remained, but this version was easier to slice, albeit still causing sticky fingers.
The most suprising aspect of the item, besides its Canada Goose excrement-like shape, was its Hulk green hue. Neither was reflective of its taste, for there was essentially no hint of matcha nor charcoal. Weaved within the croissant dough was some form of grease, though likely not butter. The satisfying aroma of dairy was not present, but instead replaced by a satiating punch of oiliness - an indication of heavy lard usage.
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​Many may call me ignorant for not recognizing the gimmicky properties of Bake Code's so-called European-Asian bakery items. In response, I can only say that I've done my due diligence by entering the arena with unbiased opinions to provide an accurate reflection of my tasting experience.
Both croissants were depressing at best and outrageously priced for its contents. The void for a proper croissant remained; I was reminded of dimsum-style century egg pastries (皮蛋酥), where the shell assumed flaky properties but lacked volume and butteriness. The sole highlight was the accuracy of the Thai milk tea flavour.

With that exception, save yourself the trip to Yonge and Sheppard.
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​Note: I have no idea as to why the size difference between the two species is so vast.

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    Formerly an avid owner of several interest-based portals, Random Thoughts of a Quirky Blogger presents precisely the elements expected. From experiments in the kitchen to miscellaneous musings, from IGOT7 reflections to developments in transportation infrastructure, it's all consolidated here. Welcome to the raw, unfiltered side of Quirky Aesthetics.



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WHAT DOES "QUIRKY AESTHETICS" MEAN?

Quirky =  a term that commonly refers to something/someone distinctly different and unique
Aesthetics = the visual aspect of things



Together, Quirky Aesthetics refers to the things, events, and happenings seen and perceived by this blog's creator - quirky perspectives in a visual form.

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