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Out & About #317 | Karaoke + Jamie's Italian Square One

2/23/2017

 
"Will travel for food" is a fairly accurate representation of my dining and commuting habits. I've made the recent discovery that this statement doesn't hold true for everyone though; often the distance that one is willing to travel varies depending on his or her place of residence in suburban GTA.

It's a proven fact that Mississauga residents enjoy being anywhere and aren't opposed to taking the 45-minute local bus route to Islington then subwaying to the core. At the same time, they are open to high school reunions (or even catch-up sessions with other Sauga folks) taking place within the immediate neighbourhood. Toronto locals are generally open to places within TTC boundaries, despite bearing massive hatred for the transit system itself. From observation, occupants of the Brampton and Hamilton area rarely venture outside of their hometown; the difference lies in that Hammertown is fully embraced and promoted by their inhabitants, even when far more superior hangout and dining options are located elsewhere.
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Last but not least, there's Markham. Hailed as the optimal spot for Chinese cuisine, karaoke bars, and bubble tea diversity, the city is special in that it is home to as many culinary choices as Yonge and Finch (and equally congested as well). With no parking meters in place though, it's deemed more automobile-friendly. However, please don't take this as being synonymous with being a wonderful spot for driving - one ought to develop a strong defense to prevent being T-boned from the retired aunties. As a commuter, I'm just content the Viva BRT is now in place.
But back to the residents: for the vast majority, few enjoy venturing past their zone of comfort. This area may sometimes impose east-west travel boundaries on Kennedy or Woodbine or even so little as a five-minute drive to the nearest plaza. In short, a great deal of persuasion is needed to convince such locals out of their humble abode and into the nearest suburb.
​That being said, one can imagine the incredulous amount of effort inputted into planning a Markham to Mississauga trip. A day trip consisting of mahjong, karaoke, and dinner sounds easy enough to me, but not many can identify with my adventuresomeness as a reference line. (Mister group leader deserves a roar of deep applause.)

< Pictured above: Honey Green Tea, Papaya Smoothie, Honey Lemon Water, Cranberry Juice, Almond Milk Black Tea, and Green Tea Smoothie at happy hour karaoke >
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​Five hours of belting out C-, J-, and K-Pop tunes really worked up an appetite. The group became increasingly hangry, making it beyond difficult to narrow down a spot deemed satisfactory for their food and price preferences. After three exasperating attempts, we finally agreed on Jamie's Italian.
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Visiting Square One on a weekday evening meant less traffic on the roads, an unbelievable abundance of parking spots, and no wait lines. While we had called in to reserve a table beforehand, one step inside the mall restaurant silently told us that it probably hadn't been necessary.

With the exception of the few tables lining the mall-facing perimeter of the celebrity chef's second shopping centre outpost, the remainder of the interior was painfully dim. A medium-sized table had been prepared for us behind the bar and adjacent to one of the order-entering computers.

This should have inadvertently implied constant service right? Not at all.
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For a place that was 90% empty, one would have expected prompt service for a ravenous group of impatient customers. Admittedly, our party had taken some time to analyze the menus and decide which appetizers should be shared and amongst which members, though this was no excuse for the complete absence of our server after what seemed like eons of waiting.
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In my desperate attempt to wave a different server over to address our urgent desire for sustenance, the received response was no more than a quick glance in our direction, a head turn of smugness, and a monotonous gust of "I'll get your server" while hurriedly retreating away from our line of vision. Please. Don't act like you're busy. 
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View the full album HERE !

​As if our request was lost in transit, our server appeared some time later to note down our orders. It wasn't a particularly professional method either, as the music was quite loud and many of us were forced to shout down the table to relay our requests. He did double-check our items once before departing, but most of the things he repeated were just mumbled phrases from my position at the other end of the table.
​The lengthy waiting period in between the order placement and arrival of appetizers was an absolute torture to endure. While some began to play mobile games, I took to taking in my surroundings in detail.
A prominent component of Jamie's Italian was wood, lacquered and unlacquered. From the walls to the open kitchen to utensils to furnishing, one could scarcely find something that didn't exhibit a timber-like appearance. At every table was an old-fashioned salt and pepper set and simple white cloth napkins embroidered with blue lettering. (The reason behind utilizing white napkins for a tomato sauce-heavy menu is beyond me, really.)
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​Hight above our heads hung dish lights that cast a vignette-like yellow glow on everything beneath it. The interior ambience matches well for intimate get-togethers and social meetings, though a casual group dinner would demand greater illuminance. I'm also not quite sure I agree with the Yelpers that claim the environment to be "family-friendly".

I had taken a quick glance at the cocktail section before harshly being harshly being reminded by reality that I would responsible for my own safe return. The group was provided a 1L jug of water instead.
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​Garlic Bread with a $0.95 add-on of Sun-Dried Tomato & Olive Tapenade arrived on a small wooden serving board; a single slice of Tomato Bruscetta came next on a ribbed ceramic dish. Contrary to its description of "oozing garlic and herb butter", I failed to perceive anything beyond a light drizzle of olive oil and sliced garlic cloves on top of tortilla puffs. Accompanying the triangular slices was a depressing, desaturated mound of high-sodium paste that added little flavour for its hefty price.
It is indisputable that the so-called Garlic Bread was made in-house, but at that point in time, I'm sure that the group would not have minded storebought baguette to satisfy carby cravings. The resulting appetizer was not reflective of the standard image of garlic bread, nor was it a pleasant surprise for those hankering for a properly crispy, buttery slice.

The Tomato Bruschetta, which I did not have the opportunity of tasting, was loaded with sun-dried tomato paste, wrinkly cherry tomatoes, basil, and ricotta. On a visual aspect, it was appealing; on a gustatory scale, however, its size definitely did not validate the $9.95 it was labelled for.
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When the Patate Bianco and The Parma arrived with thin crusts, a minimal portion of toppings and a shiny finish, I gulped down feelings of hunger to commence the snapping process. Soon, other orders such as the Italian Hot pizza, Gennaro's Tagliatelle Bolognese, and Gennaro's Famous Porchetta arrived. With the group starved past the point of threshold tolerance, the items were demolished before I could even point my camera in their direction.
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​As I grabbed the porchetta for its turn under the spotlight, a particularly short-fused monster was spotted gritting its teeth, preparing to shed table manners and enter caveman mode. (Notice the tightly-gripped knife in the distance.)
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​I attempted a sliver of the Patate Bianco before concluding that the thin crust, heavy oil surface content, and starchy potato slices were not my cup of tea. Several called out that the pizza was bland and reached for salt and pepper to compensate. "McDonald's anyone?" was overhead briefly as pizzas were ripped to shreds within a manner of minutes.

Any hopes for my Classic Superfood Salad was banished at this point in time, but I didn't think Jamie Oliver could re-invent salad to any point past my understanding. Frankly, I was wrong.
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​I cannot properly comment on the pizza dishes, but can accurately confide that Classic Superfood Salad is a dish that I never want to set eyes on for the rest of my life. Greens were completely omitted and replaced with a heart-healthy mix of purple rice, quinoa, and other firm grainy elements that were not only hard on the eyes, but even harder on the stomach. The two meager pieces of broccolini were also ridiculously hard. A scanty amount of pomegranate seeds provided some small degree of relief, but not enough from preventing the enormous stomachache that was to follow the ingestion of rock-solid grains on an empty stomach.  The server forgot my spiced seeds, but it wouldn't have made much of a difference anyway.

Thanks, but no thanks
. I'll be taking my next $11.95 to a spot that doesn't cause both my stomach and wallet to sob with grief.
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​Should you still wish to visit Jamie's, I'd highly suggest dropping by the bathroom. The interior is pleasant and colourful, with a scheme of hues almost identical to DAVIDsTEA's Feel Good collection. I'd recommend doing so within the next few weeks, as I've noticed the steadily accumulating layers of dust on the tissue boxes and air dryer. (Do those inefficient mortals even clean?) The garbage bin should also be shifted closer to the egress for eased disposal of tissues.
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​Individual bills ranged between $22 to $32 before tips, though the amount of gratuity should be clearly reflected in the quality of service received. Please keep in mind that no drinks nor dessert were ordered, as the total would be infinitely greater otherwise.
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​On a less subjective note, I should confess that I am not entirely a fan of bread-with-bread dishes. Italian cuisine is based largely off el dente pasta, bread, herbs, and cure meats - none of which I particularly fancy. The menu selection was tweaked by a celebrity chef and tailored to provide a supposed traditional Italian experience to those who wished to attempt dishes earning his stamp of approval. Taste buds vary from person to person, so it is not surprising to find hit-or-miss plates here.
In my case, it was wholly a miss, but the same cannot be said for every diner.

I will most definitely not be returning nor recommending. The neighbouring Starbucks will be my go-to in the luxury expansion of Square One.

Jamie's Italian Square One Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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    Formerly an avid owner of several interest-based portals, Random Thoughts of a Quirky Blogger presents precisely the elements expected. From experiments in the kitchen to miscellaneous musings, from IGOT7 reflections to developments in transportation infrastructure, it's all consolidated here. Welcome to the raw, unfiltered side of Quirky Aesthetics.



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WHAT DOES "QUIRKY AESTHETICS" MEAN?

Quirky =  a term that commonly refers to something/someone distinctly different and unique
Aesthetics = the visual aspect of things



Together, Quirky Aesthetics refers to the things, events, and happenings seen and perceived by this blog's creator - quirky perspectives in a visual form.

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