Out & About #1104 | Recovery + IHOP

Admittedly, it's a bit ridiculous to be entitled to only 4.5 sick days for the entire span of a year. And, of course, holding for more than half a working day would not entitle me to a half day of rest either.

Maybe I shouldn't be complaining, since a proper probation period would have set me back at least 3-6 months' worth of benefits claims. Regardless, I was more than a smidge appalled to be encouraged in the direction of taking (supposedly) HR policy-imposed vacation time or incredibly vague "flex hours" to recuperate. Nothing could be so off-putting as the inability to correctly categorize and document the usage of time.

​So I returned to work (from home) with a blazing fever. My throat was hoarse, my body dehydrated, and head throbbing still. Alas, my condition would be no one's business but own. How many managers genuinely care about their staff beyond their ability to deliver work anyway? The depressing answer is very, very few.

A day of Gatorade and congee with lean pork preceded the excruciating case intoxication. Reactine was a regular pill for the week. I was also adamant about visiting the doctor to confirm whether my red, bulging eyelid was worrisome - read: infected and potentially blinding (!!!)

Thankfully, with the frequent application of ointments and daily intake of antibiotics, most of the swelling had receded, with the exception of the foot. Dark red patches surfaced on the eyelid and forearm, where the bites had been ruthless and painful. Smaller-sized bites turned burgundy, remaining flat like dried splatters of blood.

Despite only spending two out of five days working from home though, I was comprehensively depleted by the overwhelming number of emails and nonsensical direction that the team was taking to "facilitate" work. My spirit withers in the face of those that can't win against their own old-fashioned, stubborn souls.

​I did a brief test of my new toy, the Insta360 GO 3S, but all experimentation came to a halt when camera operation mandated installation of the associated mobile app, for which my phone did not possess enough internal storage.

​Saturday morning was a breath of fresh air, in the most literal sense. My alarm went off at the early hour of 6:15 AM - probably the earliest I had awoken since transitioning away from downtown commutes.
The mission at hand was a spin-the-wheel at my local Loblaws. I had anticipated the worst when we pulled into the asphalt lot at 6:47 AM. However, we were easily in 4th place for a chance to win PC gift cards valued between $5 to $100.

​The lowest prize was $5, plus complimentary Pure Leaf lemon tea and Made Good granola bars. Other possible gift card values were: $10, $20, $50, and $100.

Having earned a combined total of $10, we immediately credited the amount towards our cart of milk, eggs, and cereal. After applying the savings, the bill came to a grand total of $2.69. A steal indeed! Waking up early was well warranted.

​My suggestion of breakfast at IHOP would align seamlessly with our 7:17 AM departure from the grocery store. Dining out for breakfast is an uncommon undertaking, for seldom do I awake and wish to immediately enter into the external world. But the early Loblaws event made it a suitable agenda addition.

​Three tables were already seated at our time of arrival. We soon joined them, filling the parking lot-facing restaurant perimeter. Laminated menu booklets were provided for our perusal. Supplementary options spanned a How To Train Your Dragon collaboration involving black pancakes and green chocolate sauce. I presumed these to be visually appealing, yet gustatorily revolting.

​Gracing the cover page of the standard menu was a stack of enticing buttermilk pancakes topped with sliced bananas, caramel sauce, and whipped cream plus sidekicks of eggs, bacon, and hash brown. Much to my surprise, IHOP offered steak dinners as well. 

Opting to adhere to their signature selection, our picks spanned the World-Famous Pancake Combo, 55+ Breakfast Sampler, and an Iced Cold Brew Coffee. Hot/warm water was also requested, but I knew the order would soon be forgotten when the waitress did not make any moves on the ordering tablet. A total of three prompts later and water was finally received.

For sake of ease, syrups and sugars were situated in a condiment carrier at the end of the table, along the wall. We reached for the syrup dispensers without hesitation, though, as a first-time diner, an introduction to the restaurant would have been appreciated. Suffice to say, service was beyond lacklustre; not only was the waitress difficult to flag, but also spun on her heel before we finished our sentences.

​I knew that ordering Cold Brew at a diner-style establishment was a risky decision capable of instilling grief. When the alternative of an International House Roast Coffee was $3.99 though, I decided to take my chances with the $4.99 glass. While ordering, the waitress had asked about my desired milk and sugar levels, prompting an initial response of confusion, for Cold Brew included neither in its composition. I also enforced the removal of ice, for we were dining indoors where A/C was prevalent (though not strong enough to disperse greasy fumes!).

The beverage received was nothing short of bitter and acidic: all the astringency of coffee without the aromas and complexity. Despite undertaking grand efforts to deplete the glass, about 1/5 of the glass was forfeited at the end of our meal. Simply put, it was difficult to ̶s̶t̶o̶m̶a̶c̶h̶ sip.

​Specified in my choice of the World-Famous Pancake Combo were scambled eggs, pork sausages and, naturally, the chain's signature Original Buttermilk Pancakes. The pancake duo was served on a small, round ceramic plate, with a pat of butter perched atop the stack. Eggs, sausages, and a golden hash brown with shockingly sharp edges were arranged onto an elongated platter instead.

Across from me was a 55+ Breakfast Sampler with an Over-Easy egg, crispy bacon, thick-cut ham, and a buttermilk pancake single. Compared to the regular Breakfast Sampler, the 55+ edition reduced the overall portion size by one of each element (one egg instead of two, etc.) for an overall discount of $7 (versus the regular's $19.99 price tag). This was a great alternative for small eaters having reached the age of seniority.

​The butter atop the pancakes began to disintegrate within minutes of arriving. While we would have preferred to apply the condiment at our leisure, the serving format testified to the soft, airy nature of the pancake. Even after the butter was distributed evenly across the surface, an indentation remained where the butter had resided, asserting its fluffy, fragile nature.
Surely enough, the Buttermilk Pancakes were plush. I began to inspect my first round: uniformly golden on one side, somewhat spotty on the underside, and bearing porous edges along the circumference. All observations were consistent with those of a textbook pancake.

Although fluffy and delectable, we both found the pancakes somewhat gummy for our liking. There also appeared to be a decent amount of starch contained within the batter, for a mere half was enough in rendering feelings of satiation.

​Between the Old-Fashioned and Butter Pecan syrup, the former secured our unanimous vote. Aside from an obvious synthetic butter flavouring, the innovative addition did not succeed in providing a better experience than the luscious likes of Old-Fashioned.

​Eggs were executed with excellence, as were my savoury, toothsome pork sausage links. Interestingly, the golden hash browns were crisper on their underside than the coloured surface. That said, intensity of the golden visuals differed from platter to platter. While one was well-textured and gratifying, the other was pale, pasty, and lacked structural integrity.

​IHOP's condiment containers were particularly worth noting, as the ketchup bottle did not encapsulate any loose trails of ketchup in the spout nor the cap. Opening the cap to reveal a pristine spout truly had me overjoyed! The syrup bottles had also been designed to rest dripping, regardless of one's tendency to pour quickly or lethargically.

Located at the north limit of the restaurant were individual washroom stalls, either labelled for "Women", "Men", or "Family". Except for the family bathroom, there was at least two of each stall nested in the corridor. Each of the stalls were obnoxiously small, to the point where the door-swing radius measured no more than a few inches from the face of the wall. Making matters worse was the sink blocking entry, a mammoth-sized wastebin, and automatic paper towel dispenser situated directly above the wastebin, causing clean paper towel sheets to graze the top of the garbage bin. These factors aside, the stall was decently clean, but not as pristine as one would expect within one hour of opening.

​An enjoyable experience nevertheless, IHOP offered beautiful pancakes and scrumptious all-day breakfast to all those willing to brave greasy kitchen fumes. My humble suggestion is to skip the coffee, or arrive caffeinated and ready to feast.